London 2012: Who Designed the Most Attractive Uniforms for Olympians? No one!

In the unofficial competition among designers of the clothing to be worn by athletes in London starting this week, it appears that there are few winners and many losers.

Stella McCartney, Giorgio Armani, Ralph Lauren, Prada, Hermès and Salvatore Ferragamo are just a few of the famous names enlisted to outfit Olympians.

Some countries selected local or little known names.

Either way, it's hard to pinpoint exemplary work. Most of the apparel is, as the Brits are fond of saying, a train wreck.

With an estimated billion folks watching on TV, would you want to show up at the opening ceremonies in in bright orange and yellow?

Most likely not, yet that's what the Chinese will be wearing.

Spanish athletes will be decked out in equally garish kit designed by – are your ready? – a Russian firm. Did they forget that Barcelona is now one of the world's hot fashion capitals?

The Brits, Americans and many others are going for boring, blah, banal blazers, like these goofy piped ones from New Zealand that recall a community playhouse production of The Music Man.

And here's what Giorgio Armani came up with for Italy. Uninspired, for sure. But at least he's consistent.

On a positive note,  Jamaica has received advance praise from fashionistas for snappy apparel from reggae icon Bob Marley's daughter, Cedella.

Fortunately, we're not watching the Olympics for the clothes. Let the games begin!